First Trimester in the home stretch!!

So This coming up Tuesday I will have official hit my second trimester!! booyah!. This week for the first time yet, I started to feel a bit nauseous, nothing came of it and it only lasted for two days. I would describe it more as a motion sickness it only acted up when I was moving around, when I was resting a bit more it was fine. The last two days I have been feeling back to normal again though!. If the baby books are to be believed this week my uterus is rising out of my pelvic area so maybe it was the extra changes that caused the mild discomfort.

Before I reach the second trimester officially though I thought I would get a picture of my 12 week baby bump. Its not massive, but its there now!!!

TA DA!!! a picture of me and my fetal unit!!!

mixed feelings....

I am ready to have a baby! a cute innocent helpless little bundle of love and need in my life. When I think of holding him (him: I don't want to write 'it' or 'him/her' every two seconds) or rocking him, feeding and snuggling him I get that warm excited feeling in my heart and cant wait for the time to come to meet my baby. Pictures of crying babies gummy little mouths make me smile and I'm super pumped to roll my first baby burrito. Babies make me happy, even when they are screaming and upset because lets face it we all know they cant help themselves and something about a sad baby brings out the nurture instinct in most people with a beating heart. I'm ready to be both patient loving mom and life chronicler chasing my baby around with a camera like a national geographic crew, capturing every cute and precious moment I can.

That being said.....I'm not sure if its my natural lack of patience coupled with some grumpy hormones~ but I can no longer stand little kids. Snotty noses, grabbing hands, screeching voices going "I WANT, I WANT!!!" as they tear through stores causing mayhem and sound pollution. Unnecessary waterworks coupled with red scrunched up gremlin faces, demanding all in life to be handed into their filthy/ grubby little paws. Its enough to make you wish for the good old days of "the belt" when you see these demon spawn surging through store aisles. Hell give me that belt, I'll volunteer to go all Indiana Jones on them for their parents if it makes the job easier for all involved.

The more tiny terrors running amuck everywhere I go makes me seriously wonder some days just what the hell I have gotten myself into. I don't want to be the person at the restaurant who's ruining everyone Else's night out because of the tantrums coming from my table. Or the person who is responsible for one of the many screams of agony that make the Walmart sound like a bloody torture chamber the second you waltz through the door.

Or even worse still, I don't want to walk up to the cash register with the stupid kid talking like a "baby" and making an ass out of himself in a vain attempt to get some attention.

What happened? I used to like children, in fact I used to like them a heck of allot more than most adults. Maybe it was because I had the option of walking away when I had had enough .In a few more years that option will not be there, I will be in the very eye of the storm when a piece of candy turns into a life or death matter, or when someone decided a random punch to his or her sibling was a good idea. I'm starting to think maybe I never really wanted kids but nature just fooled my brain into thinking this was a good idea!!! Maybe I can find a trade in program, you give me your baby and I will raise it until its two or three then he or she is all yours again, complete with functioning motor skills and the ability to wipe its own ass. Do you think anyone else would go in for an offer like that? NO, hell it was worth a shot!.

Everyone says its different when its your own child, that having a baby was the best thing that ever happened to them....good lord I hope they are right~ because as it stands I'm squirreling away money for anger management and therapy at this point!!!

First Trimester symptoms....

As far as the pregnancy lottery goes I hit the jackpot in the symptom department!!.

List of symptoms:
~implantation bleeding (which was ignored)
~Sore breasts (mistaken for pms)
~minor cramping just before I fell asleep (for about a week after I knew I was pregnant)
~ missed period (pregnancy indicator)
~Fatigue (so extreme I can pretty much say I have been sleeping away most of my days not dedicated to working hours)

Now at week 11 Im finally regaining some energy, so other than minor fatigue, sore boobs and no period I feel pretty normal.

Oh yeah, did I forget to mention the few pairs of "skinny day" jeans I own are now "fond memory day" jeans :(. Thats okay though, I plan on turning them into maternity pants with a few quick modifications on the sewing machine :).

In two more weeks I will post my 'official' second trimester starter baby bump photo!!.

So your having a baby...PANIC!!!

Step one: The first two weeks~Paranoia!

Oh my god did I just use Ice therapy on my back???? oh crap the label says I shouldn't have. Time to shower it off quick...done. Now time to phone Mom in tears about the possibility of camphor poisoning my baby.

I should make sure the only food going into my body is a fresh vegetable, fruit or healthy protein (meat alternative). Even if it means I have to walk the half hour up to the grocery store everyday to get it. No chocolate, no frozen foods nothing but the best for me and baby!!

I should make sure I'm careful where I walk so I don't slip, make sure I'm not lifting anything too heavy, get lots of rest and fluids, read every label for nutritional content.

Oh my god that woman just coughed on her hand before she handed me a $20.00 bill time to sanitise up to my elbows in the work sink!!! Better remember my face mask while using cleaners...even if they are bio friendly.

Step 2: Weeks 3-4 ~rational thought returns!

This is going to be a long freakin 9 months if I don't settle the hell down. Its time to realise that even women in third world countries, malnourished and living out of garbage heaps manage to give birth to live babies. Hell I have medical, a home, food, fresh water I'm going to be fine!!!. BREATHE~ as the boyfriend says "Your pregnant your not dying, relax!!!.

Step 3: Everything in moderation

If my diet slips occasionally it wont be the end of the world as long as I strive for the best most days, I cant lock myself up in a bubble for 9 months so its time to relax, get some good runners with support and just remember my uncommon sense while at work. It will do no one any good if I don't relax and keep my stress level down.

Finding a doctor and a little drama......

The day I discovered I was pregnant it was September 15th, testing positive twice. The next step was to verify the findings with a doctor, as I have no family doctor the task seemed a bit daunting. However a few months back in my futile search for a family doctor I was given a name and phone number to try. When I phoned this doctor she was very nice and explained to me that she only dealt in prenatal and deliveries but when I find myself pregnant one day to give her a call. I squirreled her number away in my file and the afternoon of the 15th pulled it out to give her a call.

*sigh of relief* The phone call took only 5 minutes and getting into see her was no problem, the only draw back I had to wait to fit my appointment in until the 22nd. Not a horrible wait on any other occasion. However when you have already told two potential new Grandma's you may be expecting the "so do you know for sure yet?" phone calls let you know your not the only one anxious for some damn news!. Note for next baby ~don't say freak in 'boo' until your cleared to go by a professional.

So I make it to my appointment to the doctors office the following Tuesday, I am ready for my ultrasound and to have my full physical exam and ready to have some clear confident news, especially when I know two Grandma's and Chris will be phoning for an update this afternoon. I get to the office and to my relief the doctor is a younger woman and she is very nice, she doesn't rush anything and allows me a chance to ask any questions I may have. To my disappointment however she needs to send me out for blood work to the hospital before she can determine anything...so I leave with a lab form, but no further ahead in the information category.

I make my way up to the hospital where I wait for my tests to begin, within about 45 minutes I'm already calling a cab home having left behind six vials of blood and two cups of urine. I cant wait for Chris to get home, as so far I have had to figure all this stuff out for myself and just keep him updated via phone. However during a phone call to Chris the following day, the dogs begin to go berserk by the door. I hang up with him and go see what the commotion is all about and there is Chris waiting on the back steps after a 5 hour drive home early a few days to see me. It was an awesome surprise!!!.

The next day I'm back at work and notice a bit of pink blood when I use the washroom. I have a miniature panic attack, only an hour and a half until I can get home and figure this all out. When I get home I do an online search and most of the websites say a small amount of bleeding isn't bad as long as its not accompanied by cramps or back pain. Well I'm not sure if I had experienced any pain that was more that just the pain of a full days shift after four weeks off work. So I try to let it go but as I go to use the washroom, there it is again a small amount of pink. I phone the hospital line to ask a nurse her opinion, She tells me its most likely nothing as the bleeding sounds so scant to her but she suggested I schedule an appointment with my doctor within the next 48 hours to be sure.

Well I'm working full time from this point this week and I wont have time to see a doctor so Chris and I head up to the hospital emergency. We wait around for about 20 minutes until we are escorted into a small private room, we wait alone in the room together for about an hour to an hour and a half before a doctor comes in to see us. Now I'm waiting in a hospital gown to have a check up and get some answers just hoping to be put at ease so I can get a good nights sleep about the matter. What do I get?, the doctor comes in and explains she would rather not give me my physical to avoid disturbing anything down there. She then goes on to tell me as I'm only 6 weeks there is a pretty good chance I'm going to miscarry and not to worry if I do as it shouldn't effect future pregnancies or my fertility.

As soon as the doctor leaves I start to cry, the nurse walks in and sees me looking very upset and lets me know they are just going to take a few blood samples from me to try to figure out if my hgc levels have dropped. When she asks whats wrong I tell her and I think she must have gone out and given the doctor shit for her crappy bedside manner. About ten minutes later she (the doctor) came in again and gave me the speech she should have given me in the first place about how allot of women experience bleeding and it could be nothing but just to keep an eye on things.

We got home really late that night and I still had to be at work the next morning. As if someone divine had stepped in (thank-you mother goddess) about ten minutes after I woke up I received a phone call. When I answered the phone it was my Boss's wife, she was calling to say that she thought I had looked pretty tired the night before at the end of my shift and if I wanted she had arranged to have another girl come in for me if I wanted to take the day easy. I told her a bit about the night before (as I told my boss and his wife I was expecting right away so they would understand why I wasn't lifting all the heavy objects anymore) and took her up on her offer.

My day off I took it easy with my feet up and I had no more signs of strange bleeding. I also decided I wasn't going to worry about miscarrying to the point where I treat it as an inevitability like I had the night before, when the E.R doctor made me feel helpless and drained. I decided I was going to love my baby whether or not I only had it growing in me for a few more days or as a lifelong responsibility.

The following day at work I phoned my doctors office and they gave me the final results, yes I was indeed pregnant and could see them the following Tuesday for my first check-up. When next Tuesday rolled around my doctor phoned the Hospital for my ER results and she said the HGC levels came back normal and not to worry, I had my last physical exam results (four weeks ago from my family doctor in Vancouver) faxed to my new doctor to avoid aggravating my body with a full pap smear, just as an added precaution. The Doctor then gave me my Due date May 11th (a Taurus baby) and I will have to see her again in another two weeks (after we do our prenatal screening next Monday).

As of right now I am ten weeks pregnant (two and a half away from starting my second trimester) and according to "your pregnancy week by week" my baby is the size of a small plum right now. Next post I will add a pic of my current baby bump.....which is getting noticeable...or it could be gas and my imagination!!.

In the beginning....there was urine.

Maybe there were some signs? Certainly there were no symptoms yet. Was the first the weird light bleeding that occurred the day after my plane arrived in Vancouver that I chalked up to stress?. Or maybe the day I started to notice other women, turning to my mother and saying "wow there sure are allot of pregnant women downtown today".

Two weeks of a happy holiday come and go and nothing out of the ordinary occurs, my breasts are sore as they always are pending my upcoming visit from the 'Bloody Barron'. Along with my appetite turning me into a land shark who will eat anything and everything in her path~nothing that does not occur each month. So for a full week my regular monthly ritual begins- another half a week and I'm home again to the east coast. Nothing other than a full on head cold contracted during my trip to bother me, maybe my internal clock is jammed up and I'm just thinking I was due. The Boyfriend is out of town for work and I go to the calendar.....hmmmmmm according to the little X on the fourth day of August the Baron should have graced me with his presence by now.

To test or not to test? lets test, its just going to come back negative anyhow then you can quit worrying about it...I mean you did just take one before your vacation and it was negative, and no 'Whoopee' had taken place in the three weeks after that point. So a dollar store test is purchased and spends the evening on the counter awaiting an early morning investigation.

I wake up and pee in a cup (wow that is gonna need some good washing later) and take my little syringe provided to play weird science with my own waste. A few drops in the window and lets go flush the rest, hmmm why wait the whole two minutes the pee is just going to pass over the window produce a single line like it always does and you can be on your merry way again.....Look there is the line~ 'hey buddy long time no see'......'wait a second who's your little friend there?'.

Holy Shit!, I mean what the Fuck! I mean wow I think I need to sit down for a minute. Holy Shit! This cant be happening, We were trying since December, I was ready for this all spring. I was just starting to appreciate what I had in the single life, I mean I gave up seriously trying a few months ago......I wasn't even monitoring my fertile days how could this happen???. WOW.

I had better call Chris...pick up the phone...pick up the phone......(10 more tries). Fine! I'm calling my Mom.

"Hey sweetie how are you?".

A pause "hmmmmmm I think I'm pregnant"

....the conversation continues with me telling my mother not to tell anyone until I have things confirmed by a doctor. Lets phone Chris again. Still no answer! that's it dammit I'm calling you at work.

"Hello"

"go grab your cell phone and call me back immediately!"
thirty second wait before the phone rings.

"I left my cell at home what's wrong?"

"I took a pregnancy test today"

"and......"

"it says I'm pregnant!"

"Wow, its a good day"

"well don't get to excited its just a dollar store test most likely faulty I will take another one later today when I can get a good one from Walmart"

"okay"

"okay I will talk to you later, bye".

Off to Walmart, lets find the tests ahhh such a selection.... ohhhhhhh digital...$25.00 bucks screw that I could go out for dinner with that kind of money. Ahhh here we go 'First Response' $14.99 that's more reasonable.....and look I get two!! that's more bang for my buck! score! Lets take this baby home and give one a whirl.

Okay according to test number 2, I am indeed pregnant. Wow, I guess I'll have to tell Chris when he phones tonight....